Breaking: Rumors are flying across Southwest Missouri tonight that Congressman Billy Long is resigning from Congress. Citing that Congress has taken its toll on his health because too many people want to ask him hard questions and make him accountable to the people of Southwest Missouri, Long is chasing a lifetime crush on Annette Funicello and is in negotiations to become the President of the Mickey Mouse Club. Long has been criticized in recent days for not holding any townhall meetings with no plans in the future to face Southwest Missouri voters.
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